Gateway to Another Universe

Tuesday was a pretty big day milestone-wise.
    Reagan began to crawl. She didn’t actually crawl and she won’t win any races, in fact, she won’t even get far from the gate, but she began to put all the movements together to begin crawling. We were at Gymboree and she really wanted to get to the small orange ball. She worked so hard, concentrated so intently to get her body to obey her will, it was an honor to watch. She only moved an inch to an inch-and-a-half at most, but she did it by herself. She was drooling so much that the mat around her was all wet with saliva, which all part of her brilliant plan to make the mat nice and slippery so that she would move easier, just kind of greasing the wheels of progress. She was so intense, holding her head up so high and trying to get her hands and feet to propel her forward for about seven long minutes and then she dropped her head and let out a cry, that said, “Damnit! I just can’t do this anymore!” She struggled so valiantly that it made me so proud.
  Which brings us to a small victory in another valiant struggle, a small battle was won, Tuesday night, in the struggle to get Tiernan to use the potty. Tiernan went pee on the potty last night, for the first time in six months. He did it once night back in January, (It was an anomaly in the universe) but has since steadfastly resisted using the potty insisting on soiling himself and being perfect content to wallow in it all day if allowed.
   However, Mom and Dad have new ammunition and Tiernan has a new incentive to rethink his position on the potty, the Swim Club. The boy loves going to the pool, and as a result, we have been going to the pool almost everyday. We go in the afternoon after naptime and when the Sun has lost some power. For those of you who don’t know, he’s a white boy and if he’s anything like his Dad, he will fry like an egg in the mid-day Sun.
   In this town full of Italians, his white skin and blonde hair make him look like an albino in the pool. All the other kids have this nice dark toned olive skin as they frolic in the pool, and there is Tiernan with his shirt on and a big ol’ wide brimmed hat, with his sun block coated alabaster arms and legs hanging out. All the other kids are like 10 shades darker.
   For all the Sun protection, he loves going to the pool. Dad on the other hand, can take it or leave it. As a kid, I loved going swimming just like Tiernan. However, the pool has lost its siren song for me. However, for some reason, Tiernan believes that the gate to the pool is the gateway to another universe. It’s like once we walk through that portal, hand our membership badge to the attendant and all the rules in his universe that are in place just three feet on the other side of the gate no longer apply, because he does not listen to me. He just goes crazy.
  A quick backstory, the vacation house we rented last year, had a foosball table. You know foosball, men with poles through the midsection playing soccer, except foosball is twice as much fun to watch as soccer, and ten times more fun to play. Well, on vacation Tiernan would spend much time “playing” foosball. He would just play with the table, turn the handles, move the men, kick the ball. He didn’t play foosball, he just kinda messed around with it, which is what 18 month-olds do.
  Guess, what his second favorite thing to do at the swim club is? You got it, mess around with the foosball table, which is four steps inside the gate. So, he messes around with it as soon as we arrive and on the way out. He doesn’t care how many kids or adults are there playing, he goes up and messes with it. And will not listen to me, when I tell him not too.  I hate it because I have to drag him away from it, while carrying Reagan in the car seat, (which by the way continues to gain weight) and the “pool bag,” which is equipped with towels, sun block, play buckets and that ilk. Plus, it is right there at the entrance, so there is always folks milling about to watch to show. I hate it. The whole place knows the kid’s name because Daddy is saying over and over again and my volume gets louder every time I say it. It’s like I herald our arrival and departure by calling “Tiernan, Tiernan, Tiernan, TIERNAN!!!” 
   He is generally a well-behaved child. Even one of his girlfriends/lifeguards said, “He is so good. He shares the toys so well and is always happy.” All of which is true. He listens, is polite and generally does not have to be dragged kicking and screaming from situations, except in the swim club. The rules of his universe outside that portico do not apply. It is a gateway to another universe.
  However, the universe that is the swim club has its own set of rules and one of these new rules have forced him to reconsider the potty thing. He loves the baby pool, but he really wants to get into the big pool. And that is the new wrinkle in the potty battle, for to swim in the big pool all swimmers must be diaper free.
  He wants to get into the big pool so badly, he has tried to talk one of the older girls, the four or five year-olds that can go in the big pool but still like to play in the baby pool. He has a bevy of babes that dote on him when he’s in the pool. He tried to talk this one little girl, Madison, into taking him into the big pool. He would take her by the hand and pull her towards the gate while pointing and saying, “big pool.”  His thought process was, “If she can play in the baby pool and the big pool, why can’t I?” For a day or two he thought that Madison was his ticket to the big pool.
  Another time, someone left the gate to the baby pool open and he seized the opportunity to take off like a bat out of hell toward the big pool. There is the little blonde flash running like mercury, and here comes Daddio sprinting after him making the ground shake with each step, yelling, “Stop” at the top of my lungs. I was able to corral him about three feet from the edge of the pool, to a smattering of applause from the folks at poolside. Had I been closer to them, I feel I would have garnered more than one pat on the back and even a few “Ataboys.”
   I swear if I didn’t get him he was going to jump right in the pool. That little episode earned him big ol’ time out. And the rest of the swim club membership got a glimpse of my world-class speed. Needless to say, nobody has challenged me to any footraces. They know talent when it shakes the Earth.
In a sense, the Swim Club, specifically the big pool is going to be a gateway to another universe for Tiernan. If getting into the big pool is his motivation for getting potty trained more of the world will open up to him. Once potty trained he can be enrolled in pre-school, which will certainly open things up for a soon-to-be three-year-old. So, while Tiernan may perceive the pool as a lawless place where anything goes. He understands that there is one big law, no diapers in the big pool. And while he doesn’t know it yet, by trying to comply with law it will ultimately give him more freedom and opportunity down the road.
I for one am all for that. Do you know what preschool means? Three to four hours without him three times a week. Party time for Daddio. I might even be able to go swimming.