Cold Women

Now that I am the father of a little girl, I understand why women, and girls are always cold. I don’t mean distant and unfeeling, I am talking cold. I now understand why they are always cold and why I am always warm. After just a year of caring for a little girl, I can state that I now know why they need to have the heat in the office, car, or house up higher than other folks (by other folks I mean men.)
It is because their clothing isn’t as warm as a boys clothes. I have had the damnedest time trying to find warm clothing for my little baby girl. In winter, all the stores are selling sleeveless onesies, and feather light sweaters and mini-skirts. Stuff should not be warn in January or February in the New York Metro area. We had a rather warm winter, up until a mid-January, but it has been brutally cold since New Year’s.
First of all, I don’t understand why them make dresses and skirts for babies in the first place. Skirts and dresses need to be worn by beings that can walk upright. None of the crawling animals wear dresses. I haven’t had all that much experience wearing dresses or skirts, but on the few times I dressed in drag or wore a kilt, I remember my legs and ass being cold. A cold ass is no fun. It is hard to keep anything warm when your ass is cold. Why would anybody put a skirt on a 9 month old?
All winter I’ve been looking for girl clothing that will keep her warm while she crawls around this drafty old house. I wear a sweatshirt, Tiernan wears a sweatshirt, my wife wears a sweatshirt. Finding a cute girls sweatshirt for Reagan to wear has been difficult. Everything in the girls section looks like Britney Spears should be wearing it. That is fine for a 16-year old. (not my 16-year old daughter, but every high school needs its tramps) but these clothes are for infants and toddlers. I never ever want to see Reagan running around the house with “Juicy” written on the back of her sweat pants. Once she’s away in college she can wear those pants. I just don’t want to see it.
Reagan is just starting to walk. She’s taking 5 or 6 steps at time. In two weeks, she’s going to be walking all the time and soon after that she’ll be running. And once she starts walking all time, and the weather gets warmer, she’s going to look sooo cute in skirts and dresses. She will start dressing like a girl. Soon, she will not be able to wear her big bother’s hand-me downs. Also, her is is getting longer and she’s looking ever more girly, and she is just getting older looking and she’s a very cute girl.
I am usually pretty good about dressing her in girl clothes if I know we’re going to be in public. If I know we’re going to be in the house watching Playhouse Disney and annoying Tiernan, I don’t care if she’s got Tiernan’s old blue sweats and sweat-shirt that says, “He-man women hater’s club” on. I know she’s a girl, she knows she a girl, her brother knows she a girl. Who cares?
Once took her to Gymboree wearing hand-me down boys clothes. This was about three months ago, when she was at an age where you can’t tell if a baby is a boy or girl without clothing cues. She didn’t have enough hair to put a barrette in. It just so happens that at this Gymobree class there was a three or four mothers who had never been there before and didn’t know about Reagan and her cooky dad.
I kept saying, “Reagan, come on kiddo, crawl over to me. Come on little girl, you can do it.” And the name Reagan could possibly be a boys name. So was getting strange dirty looks from the new moms. Finally, I said, “Reagan, get over here you cross-dressing freak,” and that got me a bunch more dirty looks and gaping mouths. I said, “She’s a girl. She’s a cross-dresser. She’s wearing her old brother’s hand-me downs. Its laundry day. It was either that or she comes naked.” Everybody laughed, except for one woman who kept looking at me funny and wouldn’t let her daughter near me or Reagan.
See, I told you. Women are cold.