Get Your Kicks on Route 66

There is very little doubt that the Disney shareholders are happy the company kissed and made up with Steve Jobs and the folks at Pixar, and the House of Mouse and the greatest animation studio ever will continue to make the greatest animated feature films ever.
I have seen Cars about 8,000 times now. My son, is in love with this movie. He watches it constantly. The kids has taste, it is without a doubt the greatest family animated move ever. I say that with no equivocation. Hands down none better. Monster’s Inc. is close but Cars is the best of the best. Here’s why:
1. Nobody dies. Unlike other Disney favorites, nobody dies. Bambi’s mother isn’t shot by hunters, Nemo’s mother isn’t eaten by a barracuda, Simba’s father isn’t killed by a stampede of elephants, and Dumbo’s mother doesn’t die.
2. There is no bad guy. No villain. No evil witch. No nightmare inducing scariness. No world where boys are turned into donkeys, no evil octopus witch, no evil kid next door, no dog catcher, no Cruella Da’Ville, just no bad guys. There are some characters that are flawed but no inherently evil characters. All the characters are basically good, even the big rival isn’t bad, he’s just a competitor.
3. It is a simple story. A car needs to get to a race. Car gets lost on the way. Car makes mistakes. Car corrects mistakes. Car gets to race.
4. It is a complex story. American society has become so obsessed with speed that we are in danger of missing the beauty that makes our country so great. We are forgetting ourselves. Brilliant. Kids aren’t going to get it, but adults can embrace it.
5. It is a amazing universe. John Lasseter and the folks at Pixar are brilliant. Every character in the film is a car, but so is everything about this film, from the mountains in the background, shaped like the front end of 1940’s autos or the ridges shaped like the back ends of 1950s big fin cars, or plateau in Radiator Springs shaped like a radiator. Even the clouds are car related, at one point there are what appear to be jet-wash streaks across the sky, but upon further inspection they are tire tracks. These are things that you don’t pick up until the 200th time you watch it. These guys knew that parents would have to watch this movie over and over again and have given us little things to look for during that 383rd viewing.
6. The main character doesn’t win. There is redemption, but he doesn’t win the race. We never see Lightning McQueen win a race. He grows as a character, he becomes a better “person” but doesn’t achieve his goals.
7. This franchise will never end. He didn’t win. That should be movie number two. Movie number three, we should see him have a wreck and need to get over his fear of racing. In movie number four, a new hotshot rookie will take the spotlight away from him and he’ll have to overcome that. It is like Rocky on the racetrack. The possibilities are endless.
8. The animation is amazing. The movie looks great, enough said.
9. Harv. Lightning’s agent, Harv, is voiced by Jeremy Piven, who is brilliant as the agent in Entourage, the quintessential Hollywood agent, brilliant. And George Carlin, as the hippy VW bus, that sells organic fuel.
10, The soundtrack is really good.

Other notes on what my kids are watching, that I wish they wouldn’t.
Still hate that brat Caillou.
What is the Disney Channel thinking, they have a short filler-thing between shows about two monkeys, that sound and act gay, called Ohh and Ahh. No kidding, gay monkeys named Ohh and Ahh, who like to play hide the banana. They sings songs about bananas, and are into banana power, and they give each other Valentines. They are gay and, did I mention that they are named Ohh and Ahh and they eat each other’s bananas. Nobody else has a problem with this? The purple Teletubby was gay because he had triangle and folks were up in arms, but nobody says a word about Ohh and Ahh, but me. OK.