Island Hopping or Solving for N

Two weeks ago while visiting in Cville. We, Clan O'Rourke and AT&UC, took advantage of the local natural spendor to go swimmin' in a swimmin' hole. Ok, swimmin' hole may be a bit simplistic. Pristine lake in a Nationl Park is a better way to discribe it...
To get to Sherando Lake from Cville, according to the directions, we had to go back through Rockfish Gap and to the Blue Ridge Parkway (BRP) south for 16 miles. The BRP goes south from the gap for over 412 miles to the Great Smoky Mountains. It is a beautiful and majestic, sometimes harrowing, ride atop the mountains filled with breathtaking views and nerve-rattling turns, with steep inclines and roller-coasteresque drops. And very, very, very small mile markers.

One of the many things I learned on my honeymoon in Ireland, is the 1 mile of straight road is a lot shorter than 1 mile of country road, because country roads go up and down and left and right and curve and bend and undulate. This was a country road. It was fun driving. I am told the it wasn't as much fun as a passenger because, at times the edge of the road and the edge of the cliff, are sometimes the same thing. The children missed all of this. They were blissed out in the car seats "dreaming dreams unknown," to quote one of Reagan's favorite books, Dinosaur's Binkit by Sandra Boyton.

We finally get to the "exit" for Sherando Lake, which is a gravel road which recently got a promotion to paved road. Once we left the BRP, we started seeing houses. I thought it was strange, we saw two houses and three graveyards in the two miles from the BRP to the lake. I would have sworn that I saw an blind albino child sitting on the front porch picking a banjo, but I was driving so I could have been mistaken. Dededu, dudu dududu.

Once we got the Lake Sherando, which is part of Shenandoah National Park. We stopped at the ranger station to pay the $8 per car-load fee. And we drove another three or four miles to the lake. The lake is beautiful -- surrounded by mountains with an small island in the middle. Unspoiled by powerboat oil or development -- the lake sparkled. The park was pretty crowded, by rural Virginia standards. It was empty by Metro New York standards. Upon arriving we has a little picnic. Folks were swimming and kayaking around the lake.

Once we filled our bellies we moved to the swimming area. The lake was perfect, cool and refreshing. The swimming area was man-made, meaning that sand had been imported to create a beach and swimming area that was nice to stand on. That area was roped off with bouyed ropes. Beyond that area -- about 100 to 120 yards out was the island.


Tiernan and I, and AT&UC were in the lake in seconds. It was great. Tiernan with his life-vest on kicking and swimming and doing a great job in the water. After froliking for a while, AT&UC decided they wanted to swim out to the island. This was not an origninal idea, there were a bunch of folks out there already. I thought, "isn't that nice, they are young and still newly-weds, let them go have some romantic time alone on the island."

Tiernan has other ideas. After seeing AT&UC out on the island, he unilaterally decides to swim to the island. Before I know it he's under the ropes and swimming to the island. "Come on, Dad. Let's go."

I did a quick calculation in my head. My age plus the time it took AT&UC to swim out, plus Tiernan's age and weight, minus the fact that he was wearing a life saving floatation device, divided by the estimated distance to the island and I entered in the estimated depth of the lake based on the fact that the fact that if there is an island, the lake must not bee that deep. Basic Earth science and years of playing Sim City taught me that: A deeper lake would not have an island in the middle. I concluded that we could make the swim out to the island. (Math was never my forte)

Shortly into our journey, we passed another father and his son coming back from the island. I asked him if the water was shallow enough to stand all the way out. He confirmed what my inborn geological instincts told me. A person over five-foot could walk out the island. And I knew that I wouldn't drown, if I miscalculated the distance, as I am apt to do. So, Tiernan and I were on our way to meet AT&UC on the island.

The boy impressed me. He swam like a champ. Kicking and pulling himself throught the water with his arms. I helped, pushing and pulling him along. But, he has turned out to be a strong swimmer. Once he gets some swimming lessons, next year, there will be on stopping him.

Do you know what the great part of a pristine lake is? The fact that most of it is untouched by man's meddling. Do you know what is not so great about a pristine lake? It is untouched by man's meddling. Just beyond the ropes, and just beyond where my fellow father confirmed my suspisions bout the depth of the lake, the sand ended and the muck began. I put my foot in the muck and.... eeeeewwwwwwwwwwohhhh! ewwwww! eeeeeewwww! Nature, gross!!. It's on my foot. Ewwwww!!! Suddenly, I couldn't walk out to the island.

And that is why I've never been good at math. There is always some variable that I forget to work into the equation. I forgot to solve for N. Nature.

We reach the island but once again, I didn't solve for N. Nature didn't provide a ladder to get out of her pristine little pool. She did provide a bunch of jagged, slippery wet rocks to climb, which would have been a minor concern were it not for the three-year old I had to get safely up the rocks.

Only now did the worst-case scenario, begin to flash across my mind. It goes something like this. Tiernan slips on the rocks and cracks his head open. I am tired almost exhausted from swimming to the island, which is in the middle of the lake, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. Do you know what didn't see the who ride down the BRP to the lake, an ambulance or fire truck or police car. We did pass through the ranger station, four miles back. But it wouldn't matter, we are beyond shouting distance to the folks on the beach anyway. There are no lifeguards at the pristine lake. Had there been lifeguards, they would have told an idiot like me, not to swim out to the island. Damn pristine lakes. Damn your enticing islands! Damn your untouched beauty! Damn you nature!

I think my fedral tax dollars should be spent on installing a ladder out of the lake, and a bathroom out on the island, and a little snack shop that would sell sodas and candy and nuts. It is a long swim. Visitors could throw nuts and soda cans at the wildlife living in the lake. And the entire lake bottom should cleaned and filled with something that is not gross to step on, like concrete. And the water should be free of algee. Don't they make chemicals to combat that. What are my taxes being spent on. I shall write my congressman.

Once Tiernan and I get are safely up the rocks and out of the lake, my worst-case scenerio panic attack subsides. I take a deep breath and look around. And the view is astounding. The mountains are regal as the slope up to the clear blue sky, the lake shimmers in the sunlight, disturbed only by the splashing of bathers and the ripples from kayak paddles. Nature at its finest. God does truely love man, to give us such a place of beauty. I am pointing all of this out to Tiernan and I am so happy to share it with him. And he's going, "Yeah, this is really cool. Right Dad?" I am thinking, that I could stay here all day and just take in all the beauty.

And I look back at the swimming area and I see DirectorMom, and I remember her asking me to help her put sunblock on her back just before Tiernan took off for the island. She looks angry and sunburned as she tries to keep Reagan from drowning. We gotta go back. We gotta go back, now.

The swim back took longer. Tiernan wasn't as focused or fresh. He didn't swim as much, he floated more. He lost focus and started going in different directions. I wasn't as fresh either. I think the distance was further going back. And the lake bottom was muckier, and I was forced to stand on the bottom more. (Gross) We finally made it back. Tiernan was all pumped to tell his Mom about the island. I, on the other hand, was looking for a lifeguard to give me oxygen. There was none.