"Daddy, where is that truck going?"
"Daddy, where is thet plane going?"
"Why are we going home?"
"What is that bird doing?"
"Where did that squirrell go?"
"Where is that car going?"
"Why do I have to eat now?"
"Where is that other plane going?"
"Where is that big plane going?"
"Where is that blue truck going?"
"Look at that big red truck, where is he going?"
"What is that bird doing?"
"When do they stop?"
I am running out of answers.
Tonight, as I am putting Tiernan to bed, we read books as do every night. And then we said prayers. We say the standard bedtime children's prayer, or at least a version of it.
The version I learned as a child, was:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Tiernan was given a prayer duck by his Pop Pop when he was an infant. It is a plush duck, that when squeezed plays a recorded prayer. At first, I thought the Prayer Duck (The thing isn't offically called Prayer Duck, but we called it Prayer Duck and it stuck) was a bit creepy, but I came to accept and enjoy it as a way for a child to learn to say prayers. It is never to early to develop a spiritual child.
However, the Prayer Duck says a different version of the old Nightly standby. Prayer Duck says:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
The angels watch me through the night, until I wake in morning light."
Which I gotta say is much more happier outlook on life, than the one I was taught. Not so much death and soul taking, more watching and waking.
Now, Reagan also has a prayer toy. We haven't started saying prayers at night, but we will incorporate that into the bedtime routine in the next couple of months. And Reagan's prayer doll says yet another version of the old standby. Prayer Girl, for lack of a better name, says:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
The angels watch me through the night, and keep me in the blessed sight."
Also, a much more rosier goodnight thought.
My problem with the new prayers, is that every time I say them with Tiernan, I say my death and soul taking version. I have to go back and resay the prayers, because the boy looks at me funny. And I don't want to scare him.
After we say the formal old standby prayer, we thank God for all the good things that we did that day, and ask him to look after everybody in the family.
At this point, Tiernan has seized the opportunity to extend his awake time, by naming everyone he's ever met. His friend Sam, and his brother Ryan, and their mommy. And his cousins Mark and Anthony. And his other cousins Patrick and Brendan, and all his classmates, Jasime, Jazzie, Joseph, Kevash, Martina, and Logan. And the guys that were at the house today removing the tree stumps in the back yard, and the little girl we met at the mall and her mommy, and the lady who sold us Reagan's new sneakers, etc....
I am not saying all these people don't need to be prayed for, but CSI is on at 9 p.m.
So… the boy loves the movie Cars. As many of you know, it is about stock cars, and it has racing scenes, much like NASCAR. Tiernan, my son, has seen the movie 800 times. So I thought it would be interesting to see what his reaction to a watching a real NASCAR race on TV would be.
First, a caveat and some history, we live in New Jersey. I am not a NASCAR Dad. I’ve never watched an entire race in my life. I know it is a very popular sport. Working as a journalist cover retailers, like Target and Lowes and Home Depot, as well as, and consumer goods manufacturer’s, like Budweiser, and Pepsi, I have written stories on NASCAR. Hell, I’ve even met a driver or two at trade shows, but I’ve never been a fan of the sport.
Now the history, Tiernan loves to play with his Lightning McQueen and The King die cast matchbox cars from the movie. He got them for Christmas. (He got all the Cars cars for Christmas.) But there are only two or three characters from the movie at are actual race cars, and he wanted to pretend to pretend to have a race with more than three cars. So for his birthday, which was about 10 days after Christmas, I got him some die cast NASCAR cars. I got whichever three cars Wal-Mart had. They were Dale Earnhardt Jr. (Junior, to his friends and the rest of the world), Kasey Kahn, and Jimmy Johnson. It is Important to note that Junior, has a cameo in the movie, playing himself as a race car.
So, the NASCAR season starts with the Daytona 500. There is no football, there is no hockey on, and there is nothing else worth watching on cold Sunday. We watched the last 100 laps of the race. Tiernan was very excited, however, he was excited to see Lightning McQueen and kept asking me where he was. It took me a while to explain to him that Lightning is not a real race car, but he finally started to understand.
Then, he saw Junior in the red Number 8 car, a car that he’s been playing with and seeing in the movie for three months. That is a real car. This confused him. I can understand why, he’s three.
To further add to the confusion, legendary stock car driver Darrell Waltrip is a commentator on Fox’s coverage of NASCAR. He is also the commentator for races in the movie, only in the movie he’s Darrel Cartrip. Tiernan recognizes the voice.
The end of this year’s Daytona 500 was in fact one of the most exciting conclusions to any sporting event, I’ve ever seen. It was very much like the movie. Two cars are racing to the finish line, and 500 hundred yards, form the finish line, the rest of the field is involved in crash behind them. So as these guys are racing to the finish, all hell is breaking out behind them. Cars are going every which way into the infield, into the wall, there is smoke and fire, one car actually crosses the start/finish line sliding on its roof. It was amazing. Tiernan’s eyes popped. My eyes popped. I don’t remember who won, but it wasn’t Junior. But, I was impressed, there is something to this sport.
Couple weeks later on a Sunday, its snowing there is nothing on TV. We watch the last 150 laps of another race. The whole time we’re watching Tiernan is asking me, “Where’s Junior?” Every three seconds, “Where’s Junior?” And then the red 8 car would wiz by. “There he is, Dad. There’s Junior.”
However, Junior didn’t win that race, Jimmie Johnson won. Tiernan has a Jimmy Johnson matchbox car. Jimmie Johnson, drives the number 48 Lowes car. “Daddy, we go to Lowes? I like Lowes.” It’s true. Tiernan has been to Lowes, and he knows the Lowes brand logo, because I never told him that Lowes is the store we go to. He knew it by looking at it. The marketers of America should be very proud. (He also knows the McDonalds logo, which is a story for another time. “Mommy, I like McDonalds.”)
Tiernan remembers going to Lowes and riding in the special shopping carts that Lowes has, which are made to look like Jimmie Johnson’s Number 48 Lowes car.
On a recent Saturday, we were watching a few moments of the Busch Cup NASCAR race “Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?” “Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?” “Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?” But, since he’s three, Jimmie Johnson sounds very funny coming out of the mouth of a three year old. “Oh, Daddy, there’s Junior! Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?”
OK here is lesson for those of you, like me, who don’t know a Busch Cup Race from a Breeders Cup Race. In the NASCAR world, the Busch Cup races are held on Saturday, they are generally lesser-known drivers, and the money for winning is much less than the Nextel Cup Races which are held on Sunday. The Saturday race is quite literally a Bush league race. However, to add to the confusion, many of the top Nextel Drivers still race in Busch Cup races. So, the will race both days.
So, I spent an hour watching the race on Saturday listening to “Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?” “Daddy, where’s Jimmie Johnson?” Before I looked up the whole Nextel/Busch Cup thing online. And found out that Jimmie Johnson is not one of those drivers who drive in both races.
Now, that Tiernan is hooked on watching NASCAR and we’ve been watching the races for a couple of weeks, Tiernan know wants to know who every driver in every car is.
I don’t know every driver. Before two weeks ago, I only knew Junior was 8, and Jeff Gordon was 24. And I only know that because of all the bumper stickers with Calvin pissing on him. I don’t know who drives the FexEx car or the KFC car, but I am learning. And becoming a NASCAR fan. There is something to this sport.
Also, Tiernan is learning more corporate logos.
“I hate this damn dog!” My three-year old son said that the other day referring to Maggie, our six-year-old, 9 pound Toy Fox Terrier.
There is much wrong with that statement.
First, it is just not true. He loves that dog. The problem is the dog doesn’t really care for him. I am not sure she cares for anybody, but she sees Tiernan as the life-form that usurped her throne as Queen of the World.
Before we had kids, we had Maggie. She was our little baby. She could snuggle into our lap and get our complete and undivided attention for long walks and tummy rubs. We would pamper and play with her. She was the cock of the walk.
Then Tiernan was born and she had to compete for our attention. Of course, her attempts were futile; things were never going to go back to way they were before he was born. And then we have another child and Maggie seemed resigned to her demotion from little baby to family pet.
Tiernan loved Maggie from the moment he realized that she was in the room. He wanted to pet her and play with her. But, she wanted nothing to do with him. This could have been a jealously thing or it could have been overprotective parents always telling the dog to “be nice.” We may have intimidated her into not liking the child.
Eventually, Maggie learned to accept Tiernan. He still wants to play with her constantly. He would love nothing more than to be able to chase her all around and play with her, the same way he sees Mommy and Daddy playing with her. But she refuses to play with him. If I am throwing the toy and she is fetching it. And I give it to Tiernan, and he throws it – the dog just stand there. The boy just throw the ball, to the exact same location that I did which caused the dog to go happily running after it, but because she knows Tiernan threw the ball, she refuses to fetch it.
She does the same thing when we’re playing tug-o-war. When I hand the toy she and I were tugging to Tiernan, she just lets go and stands there. She goes on strike.
Lately, Tiernan has been exposed to other dogs, his Aunt Susan and Uncle Alex got a new dog, a big sweet Shepherd mix, named Shadow. She is considerably bigger than Maggie and more amenable to a small child playing chase with her and pulling her hair and trying to ride her. Surprisingly, the 9 pound, 10-inch dog does not like to be ridden by the 3-pound 33-inch child.
So, the other day, I am making dinner and Tiernan is trying to play chase with Maggie. He is trying to chase her around the house, but she is just laying on the couch. After a few unsuccessful attempts to get the dog to play, he walks into the kitchen and says, “I hate this damn dog!”
Now, no doubt he has heard this phrase from his father (that’s me, for those of you who are easily confused.) I probably say this twice a week. It is also untrue when I say it. (most of the time.) The dog is infuriating. She always seems to require attention, like the need to let out or be fed at the worst times. But, before you condemn me, as a dog hater, understand that she doesn’t help herself. She is the jerk of the dog world. She’s not a bad dog. She’s not mean spirited or evil, she’s just a jerk. All the dogs in the neighborhood agree. They walk by the house and say, “The bitch, that lives here is jerk,” because for the most part I think she is. She doesn’t play well with other dogs. She is too nervous to have fun with big dogs, and behaves awkwardly around dogs her own size. She feels threatened by every other creature.
But the biggest problem with Maggie is that she must have a genetic mutation. All dogs, are alleged to have a innate desire to please their master. Well, that trait seems to have skipped Maggie. She doesn’t want to please anybody but Maggie. She’s a mutant.
And she is a picky eater. The dog is a pickier eater than I am.
She lives with a one-year old that likes to eat with her hands. That is like dog-scrap heaven. There are dogs that could live very well just off of the food that Reagan drops on the floor. Granted, the girl’s diet consists mostly of Cheerios and she drops them in astounding numbers. I know this because I step on them and make them little itty-bity crumbs. You would think that the dog, would be all over the Cheerios or anything that falls like manna from heaven, but unless it is meat, she won’t eat it. Maggie will not eat just anything. Oh, she’ll eat the steak or chopped meat. She’ll even scoff down the chicken nuggets, but the omnipresent Cheerios lay on the floor for me to crush.She is a mutant.
She knows no tricks, she only sits when she deems it appropriate to do so (like when she’s going to get a treat.) The same goes for listening in general, she listens to commands on her terms. She is more cat than dog.
But, back to Tiernan and his wonderful command of the English language and the slang that accompanies it like a parasite. “I hate this damn dog!”
Upon hearing this, I confront him and tell him that he must not say such things. That it is bad to hate anything, especially family members like Maggie. I tell him that damn is bad word and he should never say it. He looks at me like, “You say it all the time.” And I say, “In know that Daddy has a bad habit of saying it but, nice little boys and girls should not say it. Daddy owns a house. When you are old enough and rich enough to be a Daddy and own a house you can say bad words, until then please don’t say that again. And I will do my best not to say it either.”
Oh wait. I have to run, the damn dog needs to be taken out.
I love music. All kinds of music, but mostly I love good music. And I characterize good music as anything that seems to have soul -- a heart -- that has been created in the pursuit of an unattainable, intangible perfection. Music that doesn’t sound like it wants to please everybody, that it wasn’t conceived with a focus-group in mind. I like the classics. I mean, I like classical music. I don’t listen to it all the time but I can appreciate it. I also like classic rock, classic country, but I am also a fan of new bands, some current favorites include, Bloc Party, Interpol, and Scissor Sisters just to name a few. However, U2, Van Morrison, Bruce, AC/DC, and Zep and other heavy hitters from my teenhood take up a big chunk of my iPod space. I also really enjoy singer/songwriters such as Charlie Robison, Joe Ely and Robert Earl Keen. Growing up in the New York Metro area it has been difficult to find “good music,” especially in the radio. I have found myself seeking out new and different means of finding the good stuff. Mostly, this has come from like-minded folks living outside of the NYC area who have put me on to different bands and talents.
One of my hopes for my children is to encourage a sense of musical freedom that will, to quote New York free-form dj Vin Scelsa, “Respect the elders. Embrace the new. And encourage the impractical and improbable without bias.”
One of the things I have done to nurture this seed, I am trying to plant in my children’s conscious is never shy away from them listening to “adult music.” I don’t mean porn music and I have tried to avoid music with profanity. When a song that has a word that should not be heard by little ears, I try to cover it with a very loud cough. The kids must think I am deathly ill sometimes.
Nursery rhymes songs should stay in the nursery. As such, I trying to identify songs in my, rather vast, music collection that kids would enjoy, that aren’t “children’s songs.” It is an ongoing process. And I am familiar with folks like Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner who seem to write music for children that adults can enjoy without feeling like an elder aunt singing songs for the baby.
I am also a big fan of They Might Be Giants, and have been since college. I always thought they sounded like children’s music, at least cartoon music. And now, the are Disney’s go-to guys for theme music for new shows, they wrote and perform the theme for both The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (Reagan’s favorite show) and Higglytown Heros. They have also done two albums (Are the still called albums?) of “children’s music.” Which are in pretty heavy rotation here. I am especially fond of their song “No,” which goes “No mean no. No is always no. No. No. No No. A thousands times no. Finger pointing, eyebrows low, mouth in the shape of a letter O.”
One of the first “adult” songs that Tiernan showed interest in was the Beatles’ classic, “Baby Driver” and that was what told me that I didn’t have to listen to Polly Wally Doddle all the time.
Tiernan’s current favorite is Elton John’s Crocodile Rock thanks to Bob the Builder’s Special Christmas guest starring Elton John. I am I the only person that didn’t know that Crocodile Rock was co-written by Rolly the steamroller, and Rolly is the one who came up with putting Elton in front of John?
He was in the den watching Elton do his thing on Bob DVD, and I start thinking, I wonder if he’d recognize that song if he heard it without the DVD. So I go into the kitchen, and put Crocodile Rock on. Soon Reagan and I are “hoppin’ and boppin’ to the Crocodile Rock” I have EJ turned way up so that the neighbors can hear it and I am singing to Reagan. Tiernan comes out to the kitchen looks at me and says, “Daddy, Daddy. Turn that down. I can’t hear Rolly and Elton John.”
I don’t think he recognized the song. But then one day I put it on in the car, and the light bulb went on. Now, every time he gets in the car, he wants to here the “La la la laaaa” song. At least he’s stopped asking to hear “Life is a Highway” and “Real Gone” from the Cars soundtrack. He listens to those songs and makes engine revving noises at the same time the race cars rev the in the movie. Ya think he’s seen it a few too many times?
A short list of songs that seem to get Tiernan and Reagan rockin’ include:
Elton John – Crocodile Rock
The Beatles – Baby Driver
The Beatles – Obla Dee, Obla Da
Grateful Dead – Franklins Tower
Ray Charles – I Got a Woman
The Killers – Mr. Brightside
Cheryl Crow – Real Gone (Cars Soundtrack)
Rascal Flatts – Life is a Highway (Cars Soundtrack)
Old Crow Medicine Show – Wagonwheel
U2 – Vertigo
Arctic Monkeys – Fake Tales of San Francisco
Gnarls Barkley – Smiley Faces
Anybody that has any suggestions for other kid friendly non-children tunes let me know.
