Breeding, go figure.

You folks, the ones with lives, may not have noticed but there is nothing on television since all the good shows have gone away for the summer, or in the case of Lost -- until Februaray. So tonight we were watching Crufts 2007 on Animal Planet. Crufts is the world's largest dog show.

Tiernan was very excited to watch the dog show. "Ohh, look at the puppy, Daddy, he's cute. That's a cute puppy, right?"

I actually enjoy watching dog shows. I enjoy Crufts because they have breeds that we don't have in here in the States, such as the Hovawart or the Estrella Mountain Dog. It is fine family entertainment: educational and informative. For instance, I learned that the Doberman was developed by a man named Karl Dobermann, who was a tax collector and wanted to have a scarry dog to travel with, to prevent bandits from stealing the taxes and TIernan learned the word Bitch. It seems the British commentators take their "Bitches" more seriously than the ones in the U.S. Every other dog was a bitch. As in, "that is a beautiful bitch" or "this bitch won the group with ease" or "a fine looking bitch."

Explaining to Tiernan that bitch is a bad word and he shouldn't use it, unless referring to a female dog was difficult. Not nearly as difficult as explaining to a three-year-old what a dog show actually is.

"Dad, are they going to race?"
"No. The judge is going to look at the dogs."
"Daddy, who's going to win?"
"The dog that looks the best."
"That dog looks really cute, Dad. Is he going to win?"
"I don't know, maybe."
"What kind of dog is that?"
"That is a Smooth Collie."
"He's cute. Is he going to win."
TV: "And the judge has choosen the Austrailian Shepard from the Working Group."
"Daddy, why didn't the Smooth Collie win?"
"The judge didn't like him as much."
"Are they going to race? Who is going to win? Why don't they race? How do they know who wins?"
I didn't have the stomache to explain the breed standard and all the dogs aren't really competing against each other and a cute dog may not win. I had enough trouble explaining the whole "bitch" thing.
"Why do they have these shows if there are no races? Why do people do this?"
"Because people like to find the best dog."
"How? What does a breeder do?" Here we go. Tighten you seatbelts. It is going to get rough.
"When someone has a good looking dog, they will find another good looking dog. And those dogs will get married and have puppies. And the puppies may really good looking dogs. Dogs that are good looking enough to win Best in Show. Breeders are people who marry dogs, so they can have puppies."
"Good looking puppies Dad? Will the dogs win a trophy?"
"Yes and a lot of money."
"Ohhhh, can we bring Maggie to a dog show?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Why not? she is a bitch."
And he is right. She is.