The Mall Turns Ugly

The mall turns ugly when the baby cries.
The mall turns ugly when the baby cries.
There'll be no Nathan's Fries or good buys.
The mall turns ugly when the baby cries.

When the baby cries, the shops seem closed.
When the baby cries, the puppies dozed.
Noone wants to be in Old Navy, with a crying baby.
When the baby cries, the shops seem closed.

The mall turns ugly when the baby screams.
When the baby screams and carries on,
the mall turns ugly, the fun is gone.

When the baby screams and will not settle,
strangers there will want to mettle.
"I think she may be tired," offers a helpful old bat.
As if, her father didn't already know that.

When the baby cries, the brother whines,
trust me, this happens every time.
The baby cries, I can take no more.
"But what about the Thomas store?"

"Next time, I promise, next time we'll go"
"No, not next time, NOW. Let's go."
"Your sister's crying will not cease,
staying here will make it increase."

The mall turns ugly when the baby screams.
The mall turns ugly when the baby screams.
There'll be no pretzels or new blue jeans.
The mall turns ugly when the baby screams.

When the baby screams and will not settle,
strangers there will want to mettle.
"She's just sleepy, Dad. I bet that's it."
"You think she's sleepy, no shit."

The mall turns ugly when the tears are flowing
When her face is moist and cheeks are red,
You know she just want her bed.

She will cry and scream and yell,
And turn this place into a Hell.
We can't stay here when she's in this mood.
We will go to Thomas World next time, dude.

As we leave her tears still streaming,
but now he too is crying, yelling, screaming.
It is a full-on meltdown, with stamping of feet.
Oh, yes another trip to the mall is complete.